Be still, get chill.

Slow the thoughts and enjoy the moment.

I’ve been hesitant to include this practice. I don’t want you to think that I am a yoga stretching, bleeding heart, meditating yuppy. I’m a regular dude trying to get by. And I feel it is important to share my experience with meditation.

I’ve done three sessions with the Headspace app. Each time I do it, I have a good day. I mean ‘good’ and not ‘great’. I don’t feel ecstatic, great, very happy, bouncing et cetera. I mean I feel calm, I slow down and I feel content. I always note that walking back to the office I am slow, I’m more aware of sound and movement. I am relaxed, the sort of feeling I get after a great days fishing (but less exhausted!).

This morning I was pissed. I checked on my firearm license application only to find that I got a letter sent to my old address which I needed to follow up on within two weeks! Now I need to wait another three months and pay another $100 to apply again. I was so frustrated I remember thinking that this is going to make me feel angry for the rest of the day.

I got back to work and as lunch began I was looking at my budget and trying to make a plan on getting rid of our debts. I began to day dream about having no debt and instead of sending cash to the banks, sending it to our savings account and how I would feel. So, after a little work I figured we should use our house deposit to get rid of all the debts we had. It was a little scary decision, so I spoke to Zoe and made sure she was happy with this way forward. Half of our house deposit vanished and in a few days we would have no car payment. After I sell a few things that I’ve got listed, we will be totally debt free and I cannot wait for the day.

But this big decision got my mind into top gear. Thoughts of justification and regret were racing around inside my mind accompanied by the thundering noise. I was worried about not having enough of a deposit in case the perfect house came up over the next year. I thought about the freedom of zero debt. I made a pact with myself that I should never go into debt again unless it was for a house loan. I thought about the numerical advantages, the disadvantages. I thought about everything.

All the while I was walking toward the river to have a sit down and meditate. It was well timed.

Five minutes later, and not a moment more, I left my river side spot feeling the way I described at the start of this post. I laughed to myself. I was so mad this morning about not getting my gun licence through. Now I realised that I couldn’t really afford to buy a rifle and it was probably best that I should be forced to wait another three months to save. It just reminded me to let go. And I thought about a story told during the movie, Charlie Wilsons War.

A boy walks from his village into the forest and finds a tame horse to ride. All the towns people said how wonderful it was that he found this horse.

The Zen master said “we will see”.

The boy is riding the horse and falls off, breaking his leg. All the towns people say how terrible it is that he fell from the horse and had broken his leg.

The Zen Master said “we will see”.

A war broke out and the boy is not conscripted because of his broken leg. The towns people said how lucky he is to have broken his leg.

The Zen master said” we will see”

Taking the time to just sit and breathe gave me the clarity to realise that I need to let go of my stress. If I can take the simplest course of action and let everything else be, then I can have a more peaceful mind.

Go slow and be simple.

Sean